What's a Mother to do?

In the article “From Rods to Reasoning: The Historical Construction of Intensive Mothering”, the author discusses the different transitions that the family has gone under over the years. More specifically, the author discusses the role of the mother that has undergone a variety of changes throughout the years. Sharon Hayes breaks down the transition of roles into four different categories. In the first stage, children were seen as innocent and pure. They needed protection from trifles from the outside world. Especially for upper class children, they needed to be protected and shielded from the dangers and temptations of the outside world. They were highly cherished and pampered. In the second stage, children were treated and viewed more like adults for they were given more responsibility and expected to be more mature. Instead of being pampered and cared for so delicately, they were expected to work and take on household responsibilities. Through negative reinforcement, like physical punishment, they were taught how to behave. Also, the use of religion to teach morals and proper behavior was used much more frequently and was an integral part of their upbringing. In the third stage, the role of the mother became much more glorified. The child was once again seen as sweet, angelic, and innocent and needed to be protected by the mother. She became a more integral and important role in the upbringing of the child. She not only became the primary caretaker of the child but had to punish and reinforce morals/rules to the child. In the final stage, parents have turned to outside resources to educate themselves to raise their own children. A lot more literature has been produced in the psychology and scientific worlds to what are the best methods to raising a child. These new theories support the roles of the father being the being the breadwinner and the mother being the domestic stay at home mother. I believe my mother has made the perfect balance between disciplining me, expressing affection, and giving me enough freedom. I think its important to make a balance between all three of these areas. A mother’s role in their child’s life never ends, but awareness to letting go must be made well aware of and executed.

In the second article the author discusses how the role of the mother has been devalued over time in the United States. There are a few different contributions that add up to the idea that motherhood is being devalued. Firstly, a mother’s work is unpaid and therefore is technically unseen. Because she is not being paid for her work, her contribution to the family and household is not deemed as important as the Father. He then holds more of the power because he beholds the wealth. A mother’s role is seen as not important in the overall contribution to society which is ludicrous. Because of the nature of a women’s biological clock, and women often being placed on the “mommy track”, a mother hardly has any chance to create a career for herself. She is expected to be the one to stay home and manage the household. In America, wealth equals power and the mother is not producing any money. She does not receive any reward or benefit for her 24/7 job that she beholds. I agree with the author that being a mother in the United States has been devalued over time. It seems that when children answer about what their mother does for a living, they simply say she’s “just” a mom. Or so many times, the child or the mother themselves have to justify that they are “just” a stay at home mom. I think a homemaker or being a 24/7 mother is the most important job out there. A mother is nurturing, caring for, and preparing the next generation of workers. Mothers should be more rewarded and seen as valuable towards society.

In the next article, Patricia Hill Collins, writes about the dynamics of motherhood in black communities. There are two types of mothers: bloodmother and other mothers. Bloodmothers are the actual biological mothers of their kin. Bloodmothers are expected to be the primary mother involved with the upbringing of their child. However, other women that are related to the child can become a maternal figure in the life of the child known as an othermother. These women form a centralized community that revolves around their own power and control of the community. This idea, that the women as mothers have an important role, greatly contrasts with the previous article about mothers being devalued in the United States. In these communities, it provides a positive and powerful image for children to grow up with when viewing their mothers.

In the last article, the authors discuss the notion that women wish to remain unmarried so they can reach economic stability and independence before marrying. For many middle and lower class women, they wish to remain financially independent because they fear their male counterpart becoming dependant on them. This can be attributed to drugs, alcohol, crime, not taking responsibility for the child, and more. Society could better assist these women who are battling against poverty and irresponsible male counterparts by providing easier access to jobs that are flexible with their schedules of taking care of their children. Business would be flexible with the mother needing to leave to pick up or be by their child. The place of employment should also provide day care to assist these women.